I HOPE YOU DANCE….(Life lessons from a song).

It was November 2016 or was it December? Ok,it was towards the end of 2016 and i was in my 3rd year in the University for the first time. You’re probably asking why did she write for the first time? ask no more,i’ll give you your answer. I had to repeat my 3rd year in the University because i failed a professional exam that should take me to medical school proper and i had to be a 3rd year student for the second time but what I’m about to gist you is a series of events that happened the first time i was in my 3rd year,lol. Being a student in one of the most populous public universities in my home country Nigeria which happens to be the prestigious University of Nigeria, getting accommodation in any of her hostels every academic session was nothing short of a tussle. Now before you start saying,why don’t you just live off campus? just know it’s not that simple. I happened to be one of the not so lucky many(not few,lol)who were unable to secure an inside campus accommodation when allocation was ongoing that session. Even though we had our money,school politics of course was involved. The implication of this was that i had to live at the hostel reserved for medical students in their penultimate year which was at another campus entirely and was kind of far from the campus i was at at that time. This was made possible by one of the female students at the time who was my self appointed school mother with good reason though, my grades were poor then.

A picture of my former campus, University of Nigeria,Enugu campus.

The stress of boarding and alighting commercial buses was taking its toll on me plus the expenses,i was fast becoming thinner,darker and of course very cranky with little or no time to study when i returned from lectures and most of all,i felt quite alone a couple of times,i felt like i was losing it and that was when i got reminded from within about a song i first partially listened to in a movie by Tyler Perry titled The family that preys,the song’s title is i hope you dance originally sung by Leeann Wommack however,a cover was done by the Legendary Gladys Knight. The lyrics of the song hold deep meanings to me and I’d love to share them with you because they strengthened and kept me going, even at some point when i was wrongfully accused of stealing an amount of money i knew nothing about. What hurt the most was the fact that it was by someone who had only good things to say about me initially,my self appointed school mother,yes you saw right,hahaha,i was hurt and disappointed but months later i was vindicated. I remember praying with the first two verses of the twentieth Psalm which reads;The Lord hear thee in the day of trouble,the name of the God of Jacob defend thee,send thee help from the sanctuary and strengthen thee out of zion, believe me when i tell you that prayers work, I’m speaking from experience ๐Ÿ˜‰.

Gladys Knight.

Ok,let me table down the lyrics of the song and the messages i gleaned from them….

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder; To me, this means that i should never come to a point in my life when enthusiasm is replaced with indifference no matter what.

You’ll get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger; Allow me to say that a hungry man is a living man, hunger is one of man’s many sensations that is controlled by the brain(the hypothalamus to be exact), physically speaking, one would only grow according to the proportion by which he responds to hunger for food and so it is in other facets of life, hunger for knowledge will push you to read or study,e.t.c. However,no matter how filled or satisfied we think we are,hunger has to remain in place,once we’re no longer able to hunger for not just food but other things that make life worth living including God,we start dying.

May you never take one single breath for granted; You remember the saying,you don’t truly know the value of something until you lose it,life is perhaps the greatest gift of all because when there’s life there’s not only hope, there’s faith and love therefore, we don’t have to wait until life is lost before it is valued.

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed; i personally consider this a powerful prayer point because a number of people have put a lot into loving someone and even being loved in return only to count losses and not blessings unfortunately,(smh).

I hope you still feel small standing by the ocean;i like to think of the ocean as life’s achievements in its fullest,we tend to become conceited when we’ve reached a certain height in life if we are not careful that’s why it’s important to remind ourselves that humility is a better virtue than pride.

Whenever one door closes,i hope one more opens;Life as we know it has its challenges, but every one prays to overcome in the end.

Promise me you’ll give faith a fighting chance;Most people go through life in perpetual fear especially fear of the unknown and so, it cripples them from reaching out to life,its many risks as well as the benefits that they would eventually bring. Faith on the other hand if given a chance every now and then will lead one to his or her land flowing with milk and honey,i mean if given a FIGHTING CHANCE.

And when you get a chance to sit it out or dance,I hope you Dance;Bear in mind today and every other day that life will no doubt throw lemons at you but it’s up to you to make lemonade out of them,life will get you in one mess or the other but inside that mess lies a message,life may come with a sea of trials intended to drown you but you can choose to be one heck of a sailor and sail through them, whatever you do,never forget to remember that you’re not at life’s mercy,your life is at your mercy,so DO RIGHT!

Me dancing through it all,i hope you dance too,LOL.

My beloved reader,thank you so much for stopping by as always,if you enjoyed this piece,i’d like to know at the comment section,perhaps you have a song or a poem or maybe words spoken by someone that has kept or keeps you going,it could even be from the bible or whatever books guide you, i’d also like to hear about it,your comment means a lot to me,much love and blessings from me to you,hugs and kisses too.

I HAD THE LAST LAUGH;HE FINISHES WHAT HE STARTS(The Conclusion).

The truth of the matter is that although i felt so alone during those trying times, i wasn’t alone . God was with me all along,i mean it’s a miracle that i didn’t die on the same day i had the accident,a miracle also that i snapped out of my unconscious state faster than anyone could’ve expected and yes even though i had trouble remembering a number of things like how the accident happened,names of a few persons, events and so on,i didn’t lose my identity,God already began my healing process long before i recognised it . My parents and my siblings were doing the best they could, calling me every now and then(because they couldn’t be physically present) although i must admit that my mum’s continuous fussing on the phone would sometimes add to the ever present headache i was already dealing with. Pastor Sam,a friend of the family and a father figure too who passed on earlier this year was always calling to check on me and to pray for me,his prayers were very helpful considering the fact that i was in a state of spiritual apathy and prayer wasn’t even up for consideration ,did i mention that although the most important persons in my life were looking out for me,there was one person’s attention i still craved?it was that of Bae but unfortunately,it was unavailable,i can laughingly remember my younger brother who was constantly by my bedside telling me,he doesn’t care about you on one occasion when i was defending bae’s absence,you can imagine how bad i felt,it was like an extra blow to my already aching head but i still defended the boyfriend because as the saying goes,love will hide a multitude of sins,i even remember telling my brother,’when you grow older, you’ll understand’,dude just ignored me and continued fiddling with his phone.

Hospital bills were piling up,frustration and tension on my part and my brother’s was slowly building up,the man who was responsible for the accident had gone AWOL,the doctors honestly didn’t know exactly what was responsible for my persistent headache since the CT scan showed that my cerebellum was majorly affected,they even began to treat me for malaria just incase it was responsible for my headache,and the consultant even suggested an MRI(Magnetic Resonance Imaging) investigation which is way better and of course more expensive just incase there’s was anything the CT scan missed out but abeg,where the money? We had already carried out two CT scan investigations plus other ancillary investigations,we were buying drugs on a regular basis as fast as they were being prescribed, remember sick people have weird and altered appetites,i had to eat whatever i wanted and almost whenever,i think my depression at that time contributed to it as well. It’s funny that when i accidentally peeped into my folder to see what the doctors were even documenting because they were telling me next to nothing,i saw a differential diagnosis of a queried brain tumour, hahahahaha, it was written by that hunk of a doctor i mentioned earlier when i began this write up, it became obviously obvious that I wasn’t the only confused one and so after much ado,i was discharged again and instructed to come for my first check up about a month later or thereabout,i still had my plenty drugs to hold and to swallow,lol.

Fast forward to months roughly 3 months later when i resumed classes just about a few weeks to a professional exam that comprised topics taught within the space of 6 months in pathology and pharmacology,my colleagues had gone way ahead of me in studies, everything seemed new to me,and i seemed new to the class with my big prescription glasses on which was one of the evidence of the impact the accident had on me. Deep down,a number of them were genuinely afraid for me,one of them who has a reputation for speaking before she thinks even boldly asked me ,are you still with us?my faculty officer was all set to add me to the class below because she like most other persons at the college of Medicine thought i was absolutely incapable of sitting an exam that gave even the mentally stable and healthy students some sort of nightmares accompanied with shivers. Thank God for friends who genuinely believe in you and show it, Chukwudi Chidiebere(my Cheedee)is one of such,no wonder he’s so easy to love. This dude believed i could pass an exam i was literally unprepared for and was taking place in just a few weeks time,he most importantly (apart from the boyfriend and family)was my drive to make the most of the few weeks to practically crash study and give the exam a try,he believed i could pass and even if I didn’t,i had nothing to lose, I’d have a re-sit with experience on my side. Again i have to acknowledge God Almighty,all through the period of my preparing for and writing the exam,He gave me speedy comprehension,my brain was literally magnetic,i quit taking my drugs because they always left me weak and drowsy and almost throughout the period of the exam,i had no symptom of ill health whatsoever except for some minor seizures which i began to encounter towards the end of the exam and when the results were out,to the utmost surprise of many,i cleared pathology,i was very pained that i had to re- write pharmacology months later and that was because my oral exam didn’t go so well and i had no continuous assessment score,Chidi was very proud of me๐Ÿ˜ƒ.I eventually cleared the pharmacology papers and i was amongst the highest according to those who saw my scores,and the seizures i was having at some point,they have ceased completely,my peace of mind was regained and although i would eventually find out that my relationship of 3 solid years was now a thing of the past because bae had moved on without me,i am free,kinda available (for the real deal though,lol) and way better than the illness met me, it’s safe to say that Uzor the Maverick got her groove back,(winks).

One of the days i was preparing for the exam.

A lot has happened since my period of affliction had come and gone,my relationship with God has been rekindled, it’s like a fire that cannot be put out, I’ve met lovely people along the way, I’ve seen the end of some relationships ,i’ve written and passed another professional exam,in all,I Had the last laugh and i haven’t stopped laughing because God completes whatever projects he starts in our lives, although God was not responsible for what i went through,he brought me out a better person, brought out colours out of my chaos ,a message out of my mess,He made something out of nothing.

Trust me when i say that i have peace and soundness of mind like a river.

Hello friends,thank you so much for riding with me on my journey to recounting what is perhaps the most important story of my life till date,i do believe that you have truly been inspired and uplifted(especially by my happy ending),don’t keep it to yourself,i wanna hear all of it at the comment section,incase you’re visiting for the first time,feel free to look up the previous episodes,love and blessings all the way,muah.

I HAD THE LAST LAUGH;HE FINISHES WHATEVER HE STARTS…(Episode Two).

After the strange faces i was surrounded by had begged me to stop asking too many questions and one of them who happened to be the only woman amongst them had come forward to give me a sermon of how God had a plan for my life and that’s the reason why i snapped out of my unconsciousness quicker than expected despite the impact of me banging my head the way i did,i noticed a big swelling at the back of my head accompanied with great pain that left me screaming,MY HEAD,MY HEAD. A shabbily dressed(forgive my description,maybe it was just my head acting up) medical officer walked to my side( i was still on the floor o)and started asking me questions which included my name,age,origin , occupation,we call it history taking in medicine. Afterwards,he took my vitals before i was eventually carried to a bed in the accident and emergency ward. Just before then,my friend had rushed into the ward,you could imagine my relief at seeing one familiar face,i hugged her very fiercely with fear visibly written all over my face,LOL. Now,being the drama queen that she was,it was surprising that she could keep still enough to contact my family and my then boyfriend. Afterwards,auntie rushed and bought me food because in my bid to meet up with the event,i had absolutely nothing to eat,of course,my appetite wasn’t at its best but i had to eat anyways because the nurses were now taking turns to inject me left,right and centre and i needed the energy for that. I won’t forget the hunk of a doctor that later attended to me(he was from the neurosurgery unit),he was nice to me and few days after the accident,the only pain i felt were from the bruises i sustained on my butt and elsewhere,my head was fine(i thought) and since the CT scan did not show anything sinister except for a minor crack on my skull and some bleeding on the bony area of my scalp,i was allowed to go but asked to report the next week for my routine check up and yes,i bought the drugs prescribed by the doctor,lol ,i didn’t know there was more to come.

I had already told my friend and roommates i didn’t want the news of my accident to trend so,just a few persons apart from family knew. That was before i started shaking like a praying mantis and falling down at the slightest or no provocation at all. My vision became blurred and double at the same time,my head was nodding like that of an Agama Lizard on its own accord,things were falling from my hands on their own accord,i was in deep shit and even my friend was beginning to show how fed up she was already. My immediate younger brother would eventually come to stay with me at the hospital,bless his dear heart (i was virtually carried to the hospital) and the days i spent at the hospital (from the accident and emergency ward to the neurosurgery ward)were the most horrible days of my life and there was more horror to come.

Upon returning to the hospital,another CT scan of my brain was carried out and this time,the report said whatever was wrong with me was at my cerebellum (a part of the brain responsible for maintaining posture and balance) but there really wasn’t any explanation for my persistent headache and eyes that hurt so bad and saw double . My classmates were attending classes and were taking turns to come see me at the hospital,it was hard trying not to think of what i was missing,but i had to try,it was bad enough that my head was in shambles,the rest of my body was unstable and unsteady and all i could do was lay still.Every now and then, medical students like myself would come to the ward for ward rounds(i was excused anyways because i was a colleague) and i would recall with so much hurt and dismay when i was fit as a fiddle,those days seemed to be way behind me. I and my brother were beginning to quarrel more often,my mood was swinging like jangl-over(jingle over,lol),yes i was frustrated and my doctors were practically telling me nada just that they were observing me. The boyfriend only came to visit me once and after that time,dude was always busy,i felt amongst other things deserted but was i really?

Hello reader๐Ÿ˜ƒ,thank you for coming back to continue the recounting of my journey back to life,lemme know what you think of this piece,see you at the comment section…

I HAD THE LAST LAUGH;HE FINISHES WHATEVER HE STARTS,(Episode one).

What am i doing here,why am i here,what happened? All of these questions gushed out of my mouth in quick succession as i opened my eyes after i felt my body touch the floor of the accident and emergency unit of the teaching hospital at Park Lane ,Enugu here in Nigeria(typical Nigerian film setting except that it was happening in real life and it was happening to none other but yours truly,LOL).I was brought in unconscious from wherever my good Samaritans found me,and oh don’t worry I wasn’t robbed like the other guy in the bible,i just happened to be hit by a modern day chariot if you know what I mean . Ok,before i begin to literally hear your voices screaming all at once how did it happen? let me tell you what i remember.

It was the last day in the year 2018,the much anticipated 31st day of December and i was beautifully clad in a short navy blue dress(I’m a short girl,so i like to wear short sturvs,most of the time haqhaqhaq) with Agbani Darego earrings as i and my big sister used to call it while growing up(those long dangling earrings she wore at the 2001 miss world beauty pageant, that’s the type I’m talking about).I had my hair stylishly made at that time and of course i wore on my lips my ever present red lipstick, I’m not keen on make-up so that’s about the only form of make-up i wear most times alongside powder of course,call me plain Uzor if you want, I’ll forgive you because you didn’t see me on that day,there was absolutely NOTHING plain about me at least Success Ozuzu( a colleague and hostel neighbour),one of the few persons who saw me on that day and the only one i recall actually can testify in the court of fashion, LoL,babe even complimented my dressing as i left the hostel and where was i carrying this ata rodo-like hotness to? to a wedding which my then home girl invited me to,she said it was a family friend’s wedding and although i began to feel an unusual uneasiness few hours to my departure,i decided i was still going to honour the invitation ‘for the culture’ and more importantly for LOYALTY’S sake . I know, you want to ask me if she’d do the same for me if she were in my shoes? truthfully,the answer is N-O ,NO!

I remember walking very briskly to the bus stop where i was to board a bus to her house,her calls were becoming too many,so i had to hurry as i was already running late, little did i know that i was hurrying to meet up with what would’ve ended me,choi. I got in the bus on my way to my girlfriend’s house and i remember dosing off in the bus,i had earlier told the bus conductor where i was alighting and so,when i got to my bus stop,he tapped me,i got down from the vehicle and gave the guy his money,i remember there was traffic jam on that road,i remember me trying to navigate my way through the lined up vehicles,i remember my eyes closing in the middle of one vehicle,what I don’t remember is the GBAM or WOOM or maybe BOOM sound that accompanied the banging of my head on the driver’s windscreen….

Dear reader,i care about you so much not to bore you by telling the gory details of my period of affliction all at once,just stay with me on this one,i guarantee that you won’t regret it, I’d like to hear from you too,your comments are as important as the story itself, Obrigado๐Ÿ˜ƒ!

THIS THING CALLED LOVE,TO HOLD ON OR TO LET GO?

So i was listening to Beyonce’s version of a song done in the 80s by Frankie Beverly and the Maze with the title ‘Before i let go ‘. The song kind of took me down memory lane, first it was once upon a time an anthem in the room i share at school with two of my colleagues and secondly,it was the song i was using to encourage myself to hold on to a relationship i was so blind to see was no longer working, chai me sef don mumu for love o(smh) Finally sha,the scales fell off completely and i had to move on too. Now if i wasn’t so bent on making the relationship work(i can be very passionate about sturvs o,lol.) i probably would have moved on way earlier than i did but sooner than later,we would all realise that it definitely takes two to tango.

Like most of you,i grew up singing the Que sera sera(What will be will be) song and it was the most terrifying song i ever heard and even sang for obvious reasons of course. If the outcome of our lives were completely decided by fate,most of us wouldn’t stand a chance at anything worthwhile in this life and even beyond. So,although the song was designed to be both comforting and consoling,i grew to realise it was a song composed to promote and make you feel good about mediocrity and failure (my opinion though).I have carried this mindset into every facet of my life including romance and believe me when i tell you that it can be tiring o;when others would just give up when the going gets tough with the simple excuse that it wasn’t meant to be after all , you’d find Uzor the Maverick still fighting the good fight of faith,(hahahaha) and this is because resigning to fate is absolutely terrifying to me. But one thing life will teach any one who takes time to observe some soul searching is to choose their battles. Now make no mistake,some battles confront us whether we want them or not but some others will come as a result of our choices and decisions and who we choose to love is one of them.

There’s really no hard and fast rule to loving someone and vice versa but some things are basic,trust me(i don’t wanna go into that,if you wanna know you’ll see me in camera for that with your consultation fee in hand,lol) however, at every point in time,we should all be able to assess what’s at hand and decide for ourselves if we should hold on or just let go altogether. I believe every relationship is just as peculiar as the folks involved and the implication of this is that sometimes our challenges may seem peculiar but don’t be deceived they’re not,a little looking and asking around will convince you. This does not only apply to our romantic relationships but also our friendships and any other ship under the sun. I’m still an ardent believer of giving stuff your best shot but a very important rule of life is to be sincere enough to know when to hold on and when to let go . Whatever is worth having is worth fighting for and this includes loving someone but when it begins to take more than it gives as per time, attention and resources(don’t get me wrong,i know we all have to make sacrifices at one point or the other),is it still worth holding on to?

P. S; You don’t know how glad i am that you stopped by but how would i know if you did when your comments or contributions are nowhere to be found? don’t forget to drop yours, kizzez,๐Ÿ˜‰.

BE STILL (WHEN FEEBLENESS IS GREAT STRENGTH).

It was some minutes to 12 am and i was yet as wide eyed and alert as someone who had had his or her fair share of caffeine except that the influence of whatever or need i say whoever was responsible for this was much more and without the side effects that caffeine would normally give its consumers. I was worshipping so it is correct to say that i was in the spirit as most people would jokingly say or i was under the influence of the HolyGhost,(all join).Now i know some of you can already picture a girl whose arms are thrown apart,who is shouting,and jumping at the same time and is in a complete frenzy, hahahaha,let me at this juncture appeal to you to discard that image as i was completely calm and i was sitting on a comfy little chair and also,let me also say this guy called the HolyGhost can have you doing all of those things i earlier mentioned,if you know,then you know,lol.

I was this calm minus the pose,Lol.

Now there’s hardly a time that i worship without music playing and this occasion was no exception. I was listening to a song from one of my favorite gospel artistes which talks about God’s consistency and infallibility when a chapter from the book of psalms(and i love this particular book) came to mind,from the 46th chapter and the 10th verse to be exact. the first two words in that verse read BE STILL,all my life i have thought the word ‘still’ in that context to connote a state of calmness or rest and that’s why it was quite a surprise when i looked out its original translation in Hebrew which is rapha h and i found out it actually meant feeble or to slacken.

I’m making a wild guess now that what your question might be is God asking us to slacken or intentionally aim at becoming feeble, vulnerable people, People who are victims of life’s circumstances and vicissitudes? The answer is a thousand times NO. How can i be so sure? I believe it would be an absolute contradiction for the one who put man in charge of everything that He made in the book of Genesis chapter 1, verse 28 to now ask the same man to now live in weakness and become the prey. So what then is God trying to tell you and i? The answer is tucked safely in the life of Paul the Apostle,the greatest apostle in bible time and right now at this moment,trust me when i say that Paul is all of us. There was a time in Paul’s life (and there were many times) when he was going through a mighty trial but this time he described it as a thorn in his flesh,he asked God severally to take it away but the response he got eventually after countless times of beseeching is my grace is sufficient for thee and my strength is made PERFECT in thy weakness,(2 Corinthians 12:7-9), you’d expect that Paul would say, Lord you have got to be kidding me right now,what do you mean,Oluwa wetin dey occur. But Paul’s about to give us the shock of our lives, here’s what the dude said in response to what he was told…Therefore i take pleasure in infirmities,in reproaches,in necessities,in persecutions,in distresses Christ’s sake for when i am weak,then am i STRONG,you will find this in the next verse after the previously mentioned verse and believe me when i say that i am as shocked as you are at Paul’s response,what a WOW!

It is never my intention to weary you with much writing but let me quickly conclude by saying the moral of the entire story is that inspite of all our perks, inabilities,disadvantages and inconsistencies,the One who is known for His perfection and consistency wants to reveal His Strength in us and through us. When He says Be still ,He actually means come as you are, flaws and all for that’s when you’ll truly be able to comprehend and KNOW FOR SURE THAT I AM GOD.

Come as you are,He won’t love you any less.

P.S; I sincerely believe that this write up has uplifted you and I’d really love to read your comments and contributions,life is all about communication you know๐Ÿ˜ƒ,so see you at the comment section,stay inspired and Highly favoured๐Ÿ˜‰.

BLOGGER AT 24…(A TOAST TO NEW BEGINNINGS).

I’ve always loved to write for as long as i can remember. From writing on the walls of my parents’ home as a toddler to writing on my diaries and jotters as a teenager,writing has been a major part of my life. Writing was my go to when I wanted to emote or paint a picture perfect future, writing has been the first love that has selflessly helped me win the love of other objects of attraction, in fact there was a point in my life and there have been many points actually when i thought writing would one day become one of my multiple streams of income, lol.

My siblings, especially my elder sister had always wanted me to become a blogger of some sort right before my undergraduate years,she always believed this innate writing ability of mine should be put into a more productive use but call it stalling because that’s what I’ve been doing all these years but today,after over 7 years of stalling, i have decided to give this thing called BLOGGING a chance so here’s A TOAST TO NEW BEGINNINGS,may the ink on my writing feather be ever flowing and may you reading this find the courage to begin what you should have long started. Together,we raise our glasses and with one voice we say GOODBYE to coulda woulda shouldas,CHEERS.

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